Journeying: Like a road through the mountains, you are free to explore the concept of growth as a journey. Even when the road you’re on is winding itself through the steepest mountains, you are free to take your time in discovering new ways to reach new heights and explore new landscapes. Even when there is slower movement, it is all still movement that matters.
I found the above quote on a site that talked about choosing your word for the year. This is something I do every year and this one caused me stress. I always try to focus on a positive leaning word, but this past year has not felt very positive for me. I liked the idea of a journey. If I look at last year as a mountain, and it was definitely that, I like the idea of a journey that I can now move beyond. I was also doing a meditation today by Annemarie Rowley on Insight Timer where she said life is full of amazing moments, awful moments and ordinary moments. I am looking forward to just some ordinary moments in my journey for 2025 so I chose the word journeying for the year.
I can be very rigid with the rules I set up for myself around my life. I have not completed a blog entry since March of last year. I felt like I just had hardships to go through this past many months and who wants to hear about that? I also haven’t been painting much and I like to start my blogs with a painting I have done. I have decided to start this year by being softer with myself. It is just fine to start my blog with a free photo rather that learn to draw a path that I envisioned for the start of this entry. If I am struggling with word recall and vocabulary, I can write in whatever way it comes out. Although I love taking the lessons I learn and sharing them on this site, I am also on a journey with health myself and although I benefit from sharing and helping, I also benefit form just writing and recording my actual journey.
So here goes. I have really struggled with anxiety this past year. I have probably been anxious more often in 2024 than not. Anxiety makes me feel really vulnerable and only willing to discuss with people within my inner circle. Part of my journey this year in opening up more. Anxiety sucks for me and I am sure some of you can relate. It also tends to get worse for me when I have injuries because it forces me to stay in my house more with too much time in my own head. Everything always seems worse in there. This summer, I injured my hip, tore my MCL and fractured my ankle in two places as well as had a hammer fall on my toe. I also had to have a biopsy done which is always scary. All that within 5 months. It became very easy for me to picture all the worst case scenarios because some of them were actualIy happening. I was also inside way too much. I love to garden in the summer and wasn’t able to do that at all because of the injuries. That was so depressing to me and didn’t allow me to get out and dig in the dirt which is always so beneficial for my mental health. Also I felt guilty because my husband who is so busy in the summer with work, had to pick up the slack with my garden.
Furthermore, working on fitness and increasing my mobility is always a primary goal for me. With all of the injuries I had this past year, my mobility kept getting worse and worse. Every time I would try a new fitness program, I would reinjure something that had started to heal. I also have a mobility aid called an Alinker that I spent a lot of money on two years ago that I wasn’t even able to use this summer due to all of the injuries. Then I feel guilty for spending all that money on something that I am not even using. Guilt is a significant issue for me that I want to work on during my journeying through 2025.
Well, that is my summary and update on my life since March. The good thing is that now that I sit and look back, I have learned a lot about myself and new tools and resources. More uplifting posts to come about my journeying and nuggets of resources I have found along the path. I’m still going to learn to draw a path.
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