When it is Time to go with the Flow

Go with the flow.  Force nothing.  Let it happen…trusting that whichever way it goes, it’s for the best.”  -Mandy Hale

Sometimes in life, there can be a downside to following too strict of a schedule.  At times when life seems really busy and like there is so much to do, I find it is often helpful to just let go and go with the flow even more.  It seems counter intuitive that when you have a lot on your plate to take it easy and relax.  I have learned lately that sometimes that is just what is needed.

My husband has recently decided to start his own business.  He is a carpenter by trade and has decided to follow his passion and start to make rustic furniture and take on side jobs instead of working in construction as he has done for many years.  I whole-heartedly support his decision.  It will be a more flexible schedule which will allow us to spend more time together as he will primarily work from home and it is something that will bring him happiness I believe.  However, in the beginning there is a lot of figuring out the ropes.  He is going back to school for a bit to take some entrepreneurial courses, but there is a lot of stuff that I am trying to help until we figure this all out.  In addition,  August is always a crazy busy month for me and September is coming up and all of the committees I volunteer for start up again.  All in all, my life has become hectic.  Much more hectic that I like it anyway.

At times like this, I would usually wake up in the morning, and compose a list in my head of the days to do list.

  1. Do my morning routine.
  2. Change the sheets.
  3. Feed the dog and cat.
  4. Check my emails.
  5. Make breakfast.
  6. Finish a painting.
  7. Look at some advertising for the business.
  8. Spend time looking for new projects for Kip to try.
  9. Start organizing public speakers for September.
  10. Go get groceries.
  11. and on…….
  12. and on…..
  13. and on.

What this actually does is exhaust me before I even get out of bed.  I start to feel overwhelmed before I even get started.  In the end, no matter how many items I accomplish, I still feel like a failure because I did not do the other 99 things on the list.  This has been a struggle I have had for as long as I can remember.  I was going over my list with my husband the other day and he said “My gosh.  I’m exhausted to just listening to that.”  Moments like this are when looking outside of yourself for guidance is often a good idea.  My husband Kip, recommended that I make a more global list on paper of all the things that I need to get done.  That takes one thing off the list.  I don’t have to make the list in the morning if it is already done.  Once I am rested and get up, I should look at the list and pick one item to work on.  Once that one is finished, I should assess my energy level to decide whether to move on to another thing or to take a rest or do something more rejuvenating.  That sounded like a foreign idea to me but it also made a lot of sense.  I rarely take a look at how I am feeling and assess that before I jump into the day.  What a novel idea.

I am trying really hard to do this in my life now.  I am aiming not to set myself up for failure with thinking of all the stuff that needs to get done, but look at one thing at a time.  At the end of the day now, I can focus on the fact that I accomplished three things today rather than that I didn’t accomplish 97.  Slight shift in perspective but much healthier in the long run.  When dealing with illness where fatigue is a major issue, it is always better to celebrate what was successful than what we feel was a failure.  I try to look at life that way now.  I tell myself that I got up today and took my dog to the park and prepared healthy meals for myself and my family.  Anything else that gets accomplished is just gravy.  What I find is that the more I focus on life this way, I actually get a lot more “gravy” than if I get stuck in all tasks on my mental list from the morning that I didn’t get to.

Remember, tomorrow is another day and there is very little in life that cannot wait for the next sunrise.  Also, when you feel stuck in some aspect of your life look around and ask for someone close to you for their ideas.  Sometimes that different perspective may be just what you needed.  I believe all of us are supported by a universe that wants us to succeed.  Try to get back in flow with that source.

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